Lilly and James beginning to end
by aholmdahl
Summary: Lilly doesn't like James at all, right? So why does her patronus come out as a doe to his stag? A romance that lasts until the very end, with the light of thier friends by their sides.
1. Chapter 1

"Lilly, Lilly, come on Lilly, wait up!" James Potter panted as he ran up the hall to Lilly Evans.

"Potter just go away, I'm sure you have something better to do than to run all the way to my Ancient Runes class."

"Lilly," James had finally caught up and was walking next to her at her own brisk pace. "Can you please come to Hogsmede with me in two weeks? I promise it will be a calm and enjoyable afternoon if you come!"

"Wow James, do you never learn your lesson? I have no intention of going out with you, or being your friend at all. I know that's harsh, but seriously, find someone who enjoys your big head and annoying pranks." She turned into another narrower hall and up some stairs, "By the way, don't you have detention in two weeks from what you did in Professor Randall's class?"

Deflated James responded, "No that's Sirius, I got out for extra detention with Professor McGonagall yesterday. But it's nice to know that you keep tabs on my detentions!" He added with a wide grin, still following right behind her.

"So, are you going to come into class with me, or will you stop following me and actually do something productive for once in your life?" She retorted, annoyed at his big headedness.

"I have to go to Divination. So no, nothing productive to do at all. I'll see you at lunch!"

Lilly giggled, but made sure that he didn't notice. _He can be so annoying_ she thought, but there was something inside her that lifted up when she talked to James, not that she would ever admit that, even to herself.

Ancient Runes was hard and by the time Lilly got down to the Great Hall she had totally forgotten about being asked out earlier, all she wanted then was some food to eat before she went to Defense Against the Dark Arts. So when she walked into the room and saw that all the food was floating 5 meters in the air there was nothing that would make her angrier. She immediately walked over to James.

"Put down some of the food right now or else…" She started yelling at him.

"James, I think you might want to listen to her, Lilly can get pretty mean when she is angry." Flare said to him.

"Ok, geeze," and he dropped a couple dishes slowly to the table for her. "You would think there would be only so much a girl could do to a guy in a day."

Lilly had started filling her plate with everything that was on the table, so nobody else could even think about taking any. "What?" she looked up quizzically.

"Oh and that is very flattering, you don't even remember me asking you out just two hours ago."

James actually looked hurt, an expression that rarely crossed his face when people were around. He always kept up a strong façade, but the truth was that Lilly was his weakness; she had held his heart for years and all she did was throw it on the ground.

"Sorry James, I was just really preoccupied with Ancient Runes and I wasn't thinking." Lilly said sincerely.

"Alert the media, Lilly just apologized to James Potter!" Sirius announced to the whole Gryffindor table. Quickly he got a very loud, and satisfying sounding smack across his face from Flare.

"Shut up Sirius," she said, in protection of her best friend, who hadn't done that because she was to busy eating and for the most part was a pacifist.

"Oww" he muttered to himself as he rubbed his face. "You could let the girl defend herself if she was displeased with me." He mumbled some more.

"You're just saying that because you know that Lilly wouldn't smack you, and if she did it wouldn't be as hard as when I did it." Flare teased.

At that moment Professor McGonagall walked down the table to James, Sirius and Lupin. "Tell me right know which one of you cast this spell and have him follow me." She turned and Sirius and James followed.

As they walked they glanced back at Lupin nodding towards McGonagall.

"I think they want you to take the blame too," Gracie grudgingly said to Lupin.

"For the love of God you'd think they could one time take all the credit and not make me serve detention too." Lupin said as he walked after the two pranksters.

"So what are the chances he's going to be able to take me to Hogsmede like we planned?" Gracie sighed staring at where they had all left the Great Hall.

"Gag me." Flare muttered looking at Gracie's face.

"I bet he won't have to do as much detention as the others, if McGonagall has her senses about her today and realizes he wasn't really part of it." Lilly reassured her. "Anyway, she has to like him a little, he is a Prefect."

"I will never fully understand that." Flare said. "So Lilly, tell us about the 'ask out' that you forgot about, that is if you remember now." She kept going, glad to be able to change the subject from Gracie's discussion of her boyfriend.

"It was basically the same as every other time he asks me to go out with him. This time it was for Hogsmede in two weeks." Lilly said absentmindedly.

"It's so annoying that both my friends are either in a relationship or being courted by somebody and asked out every other day. I'm stuck single as can be because nobody wants to go out with somebody as 'intimidating' as me."

"I thought we had this conversation before, you are only intimidating because you are tall, pretty, super talented and smart and you are always hanging out with Sirius and nobody wants to be on his bad side." Lilly reasoned.

"Seriously though, people think Sirius would be protective of me, he is just a friend. And I'm only smart in DADA and talented when it comes to being a Beater." Flare whined.

"Well it also couldn't have anything to do with the fact that you're totally built and hardcore, or that your name is Flare." Gracie put in.

"Flare because I didn't want to be known as Florence, now that isn't hardcore at all."

"Stop whining, it was only last year that you were going out with a 7th year, and it was you that broke his heart." Lilly said, going over the same conversation that they had had many times before.

"Ok, new topic. Lilly, I need help with potions, and Flare I need help with DADA before we go in there." Gracie said.

"I'll help you if you help me with Herbology and Divination." Flare countered.

"I kneed History help too, that class bores me to tears and somehow you understand it all." Lilly said.

"Ok, up to the Common Room we go."


	2. Chapter 2

"Bloody Hell, we are going to be late for class!" James panicked.

"Since when did we ever care about being on time for class, or even in class at all?" Sirius said, super confused by his best friend's actions.

"Sirius, since Lilly Evans started standing the thought of being in the same room as him, he thinks that being on time will help. I don't see why he hasn't given up yet." Lupin said, but also rushing for class too.

"Oh well, I guess there isn't too much harm in being on time for my favorite class." Sirius gave in, running alongside the others.

The three boys slipped in, right before Professor Pryt entered class. James took the open seat at Lilly's table as Lupin and Sirius sat down next to two Ravenclaw girls that immediately started blushing and whispering.

"Today we are going to continue work on patronuses, but first I have to pass out your Dementor Essays. I am proud to say that you all did a very good job on these, well at least almost." He said, looking at the two girls at the table with Sirius.

"What did you get Lilly? Gracie?" Flare asked in a whisper. "Oh I knew it, it's great having a teacher that actually will give the highest mark to a well-deserved paper, she said looking at Lilly.

"Wow, we all did great, what did you get James?" Lilly asked.

James blushed a deep red and tried to hide it, but soon Lupin and Sirius saw and they started laughing so loud that Lilly never heard James' answer.

When everyone had quieted down Professor Pryt had them pair up and try to produce patronuses. "Just think about the happiest time of your life, come on, Happy Happy Happy!" He kept saying.

"I think that guy might be a little too happy." Sirius said as he was working with Lupin. The two of them got it right off the bat, so that by the time everyone else got just a spark out they were prancing their dog and wolf-like figures around the room annoying people.

James had been put with Lilly and was thinking about that exact moment, when Lilly just smiled when they were put together, and he came out with a very strong shield right away. Lilly was having a harder time, which was really odd for her because she was the best in everything, even if she claimed her friends were better.

Flare was coming up with something that looked like a bird, but hadn't really defined itself and Gracie was just having a few sparks come out every so often.

"How much detention did you get for the food?" Lilly asked James casually.

"Just two, one at Hogsmede weekend though, so it's a good thing you turned me down then Evans or I would have had to ditch detention." He said with a semi-smile. He was still thinking about that and it made his heart sink lower, he started hardly producing a patronus at all.

"Well you have many chances." Lilly replied, very casually, without even thinking about it.

All of a sudden a beautiful big stag came prancing out of James' wand and running around the room with a sense of delight. The whole room stood in awe of the magnificent creature.

"God, if only I had chosen to be something more handsome, then all the girls would want to be with me instead of him." Sirius said, almost inaudibly to Lupin.

"I think you just want one girl and you're almost as love-struck as James but you won't admit it." Lupin retorted, looking over at Flare, meaningfully.

"Shut up or I'll charm your face into a pansy." Sirius threatened.

Meanwhile Lilly was just standing in awe of James' patronus, just like most of the girls in the room. "Uh, wow James, that's incredible." Lilly stammered.

All of a sudden James was in 7th heaven, he had made Lilly stammer, loose words and actually be impressed! He was so excited that he didn't even notice when Sirius' dog went right through his head, trying to bite it off.

The rest of the day for James was a blur. Lupin and Sirius tried to make him pay a little attention in Herbology, but they gave up in history. After class he just walked around the school, thinking, as the others studied like crazy in the common room.

All he could think of was that she had stammered. To _him! She had lost her words in regards to him!_

Meanwhile Lilly was ashamed of herself. Now his big head would get bigger. She wasn't into him, she wasn't just another girl, hanging onto every last word of the boy who was in trouble every other day and showed off by pranking people. She wouldn't be that girl and she didn't feel that way, well that's what she kept telling herself.

After the last class she decided to work on her patronus, she hadn't gotten anywhere in class, maybe a few sparks, but that was all. She found an empty classroom and tried over and over. After an hour she was actually getting somewhere.

She had tried for ages different days, the day she got her wand, or the day she got her letter, her first day at Hogwarts, but those were tainted with the sadness of losing her connection with her sister. -Finally she was getting somewhere with the first day of class, Potions and DADA. She had fit in and was becoming a witch. She hadn't started with that because it involved Potter and he was so annoying that she didn't think they would work at all. And all of a sudden, with her mind on that train of thought she produced a fully-fledged patronus. A doe, a lot like James' but a little smaller and without the antlers. It was beautiful and whimsical and pranced around the room. She was shocked and spellbound when all of a sudden the door opened and James walked in.


	3. Chapter 3

"Wow," James whispered. It was all that came out of his mouth. After a long pause the doe stopped and disappeared. "No, don't do that," he found himself saying to Lilly. Entranced by the doe, and even more by the girl he was in love with in that room he said, "Wow, that was beautiful." There was so much sincerity in his voice that Lilly couldn't be mad at him for barging into the room.

"Bye James" she said awkwardly as she left the room, brushing by him so that he could feel the tingling sensation on his arm after she left.

He was spellbound, stuck in that room. _What does it mean that her patronus is a doe? _He thought. She didn't even know that he was an anamagus and that he could turn into a stag at will. All she knew was that his patronus was a stag-but then again she seemed just as surprised as he was that that happened. Maybe it was nothing, but maybe it was just what he wanted it to be.

James walked into the middle of the empty classroom and sat down. _Wow_ was the only thought he could put into words. Did this mean something, or was it pure coincidence. Did she like him? Even if it was just a little bit he would be happy; no, more than happy. He would be elated, out of this world if she thought of him in any way as somebody who at one point she would go out with. The rest of the afternoon he sat there, thinking. Then he skipped dinner and went to bed. _Wow._

_What was that?_ Lilly thought to herself as she worked in the common room. Glad to have many people buzzing about and making noise so that she wouldn't think too hard, but still she thought. _What does it mean? Why a doe? Did he mean what he said? What was I thinking about to produce that patronus?_ She couldn't get over it, there was something more and she had to figure it out. So after finishing her History paper and editing Flare's she put everything away and went to the Library. _There has to be something about the meaning of your patronus' form in here somewhere…_ She thought as she searched. Eventually she found a few books and started reading.

One said the meaning of the forms, like otters and swans and dogs, but nothing as in relation to other people's. In another they said some ridiculous things, but also some that made sense, or were completely obvious. One was that making a patronus is easier for anamagi, and that their patronuses are always the animal form they take. But the most ridiculous thing it said, or at least what Lilly thought was the most rediculus, was that your patronus may take form the same as the patronus of the person you love. And even more ridiculous it said that that only happened with the deepest loves. Loves that were destined and long-lasting.

Lilly stuffed the books back on the bookshelf and left the library in a huff. _They are crazy. I made a doe just because that's what I'm like, a doe. It has nothing to do with Potter. UGH!_

The next morning Lilly was in a bad mood and James was in the best mood in his whole life. He knew in his heart that she liked him, maybe even if it was a tiny bit. She didn't like that he had barged in though and he planned on fixing that.

He walked up to Lilly at breakfast and started talking, he greeted her and then started apologizing and all of a sudden she got up and left. James was confused. He knew she wouldn't like that he barged in, but she didn't need to be that mad. _What did I do, why is she so mad?_ He wondered.

Flare and Gracie looked over and started whispering to each other. They were trying to figure out why the two were quarrelling, or by the look on James' face, why Lilly was so mad at him.

Sirius was completely oblivious to the fact that Lilly was mad at James and he came over. "So, plan for today. Skip History and go get some stuff for tonight- you know what day it is don't you?"

"What are you talking about?" James mumbled, looking over at Lupin across the table.

"Tonight is the night that we are going to teepee the castle. Duh. We have been planning this for weeks." Sirius reminded him.

"Oh, I don't think so." James said, slouching over his breakfast.

"WHAT?" Sirius exploded. "Come on mate, this was going to be the best night. We were going to have butterbeer and firewhiskey and make a whole night of it."

"I guess I'm not in the mood. Have Flare do it with you, maybe if you get her totally trashed you'll actually have a chance." James said coldly.

"Oooh, that was low mate," Lupin whispered as Sirius got all riled up.

"Oh and you think your so much better? Falling at Lilly's feet whatever chance you get. There is no chance in HELL that she would want to go out with you and you think I need to get a girl smashed so that she would be interested in ME?" Sirius started yelling at James.

The whole room went quite as Sirius stomped out. Everyone knew that he got girls all the time, so why did James think he couldn't? James just kept eating, he knew what he said was mean but to him, at that moment, it didn't matter. Lupin and Peter just gaped, nobody had seen Sirius so upset before that.

That night James was in the common room, without any of the other maurderers. Lupin was studying, and nobody really cared where Peter was. Sirius was outside, with Flare, like James had suggested. She was having a blast, laughing and drinking with Sirius, oblivious to his major crush on her.


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning, right before Charms, James found Lilly and pulled her into an empty classroom.

"Lilly, I am really sorry for walking in on you the other day. I am really sorry for interrupting you, I am sorry for seeing what I saw and I really don't want you to be mad at me." He said so sincerely that it caught Lilly off guard.

"Why can't I be mad at you, I've been mad at you for the past 7 years. I think you can handle it." She said sternly.

Distraught, James asked one last question before heading out of the room. "Are you mad because you think it means something? Because if it does that isn't my fault, you Are the one that cast the patronous."

Lilly knew it wasn't his fault, and she really wasn't sure what it meant at all, so she followed him out of the room and was preoccupied all through charms thinking about what James had said. She couldn't even get her rabbit to dance a waltz like she was supposed to so she ended up with more homework.

Sirius and James were still not on speaking terms, and James was getting sick of it, it was like being 10 year old girls.

After their last class James caught up to Sirius in the hallway, not quite sure what he was going to say, he blurted out. "Lilly hates me. And it would take a lot more than getting her drunk to have her fall for me."

Sirius paused and replied. "Well, you are damn right about that one." Then he kept walking.

"Come on dude, this is ridiculous." James replied.

"Ridiculous is it? Well, I am pretty sure it isn't as ridiculous as you are." Then Sirius punched him in the jaw.

"Wow, shit, that didn't feel nearly as satisfying as I thought." Sirius said.

"Huh, it wasn't that picturesque on this end either." James said.

"Oh right, sorry."

"It's okay, it sucks when the girl you like doesn't like you back." James said.

"Well in your case she knows you like her, but she hates your guts, and in my case she has no clue but we are best friends."

"So we are both pretty much screwed." James commented.

"Or just the opposite." Sirius joked.

* * *

><p>6th year was a little more than half way through, and Lilly wasn't going to let any thoughts about <em><strong>James Potter<strong>_ let her be distracted from her studies. She was working on her Charms homework when a little first year student came up to her with a note. It was from Professor Slughorn and he was having a party in a couple nights, and they could bring a date.

For some reason Lilly just couldn't get James Potter out of her head. _But I HATE James Potter. I can't even think about that. He is arrogant and big headed, and annoying, and best friends with Sirius, and, and, and,_ Lilly tried to think of other negatives about James but all of a sudden part of her head, maybe her heart, was saying, "_He's tall, handsome, actually nice when he is caught off guard, he is a great Quidditch player" _When she realized she was thinking that she promptly tried to convince herself otherwise. _Arrogant, annoying, you hate him. What would people think, and it would be letting him win. _

Lilly went to Flare to talk about it all. Flare had also been invited to the party, so she had the same dilemma. "Any ideas about what we should do about this date thing?" Lilly asked.

"We could come out of the closet and go together." Flare joked.

"I will definitely keep that in mind." Lilly said.

"Well, at least you could go with James if nobody else would go, I have no idea who would go with me."

"We are both better than this, come on, we are like the smartest girls in our year, somebody must be open to going with us." Lilly tried to convince herself just as much as she was trying to convince Flare.

"Hey, there is that 7th year that looks like he has the hots for you. What's his name?" Flare pried.

"Um, wait, you mean Christopher? He is like the cutest guy in this school. There is no way he likes me, or would ever go with me."

"You underestimate yourself, I bet if you went up to him at breakfast tomorrow he would say yes." Flare said.

"I am so not doing that at breakfast. I'll ask him at lunch I guess. What about you, you could ask that Robbins kid on the Hufflepuff Quidditch team. You always seem to run into him during games." Lilly teased.

"I do not!" Flare replied indignantly, "Maybe I'll ask him tomorrow, you never know."

The next morning James heard that there was a party coming up in the Slug-Club and was trying to get a way for Lilly to ask him.

"Lupin, what if I just hang around, make it known to her that I will always be there. Or, I could find out who she is going to ask and have him say no. Then get her to go with me. Or, I could just ask her."

Lupin replied, "James, just try not to think about it and don't try to go with her. That will be much more effective than any other way of getting her. When you are begging, she just isn't interested."

"How did you become the expert?" James asked, deflated.

"Since I actually have a girlfriend." Lupin countered.

"Touché. What should we do to get my mind off of the fact that Lilly is going to be on a date with another guy in just a few days?"

"Tomorrow night is the full moon. Remember?"

"Oh right," James thought, "'Hey, I have an idea."

* * *

><p>At lunch Lilly went up to Christopher, with his other friends around him. He was a tall blond, really good student, basically everything that James wasn't, and Lilly liked this.<p>

"Hey," Lilly said quietly. She liked to think that she was invincible, but this was hard, if he turned her down then her reputation was ruined. He had a lot of power with the girls in Hogwarts, so if they knew that he turned her down all she would get would be the sympathy vote in every situation. If she did however get a date with him, then she was in charge, she would have the coolest guy in school, other than James and Sirius.

"Oh, hey Lilly." Christopher said. She was the smartest, nicest and Hottest 6th year, and he really needed to score her for his reputation to be kept up. He was a lot more like Sirius than the girls in the school thought, which was perfect for his way of getting girls, they thought he was a goody two shoes, then they went after him, not realizing that every girl in his eyes was just a check box of all the 6th and 7th years in the school.

"So, there is this party in two days and I was hoping you would go with me. It is one of Slughorn's things." She blurted out.

He pretended to think a little, watching her squirm, then replied. "Sounds pretty cool, so I will meet you in the common room at Eight?"

"Seven thirty would be better." Lilly said casually, trying to hide the relief she felt.

Later in the afternoon Flare walked up to Collin Robbins, worried out of her mind that he didn't even know who she was.

"Um, hey Collin?" She said.

"Hey, Flare is it?" He said calmly. _Oh shit. Flare, like the toughest girl in this school. Hot as Hell. And she is about to ask me out. Shit, if only I could say yes. I mean how cool would that be. To go out with Flare would be legendary. But Sirius basically puts her off limits. Sucks for her, he gets to go out- or just screw every girl that he wants, and she can't even go out on a date, not since that 7__th__ year. Totally wish I could say yes._

"Yeah, so I was wondering if you would go to this party with me on Friday. It's one of those Slughorn things." _Well, at least he knew my name, that's a start, and by the looks of him he doesn't look Not into me._

"Um, I'm sorry but I am busy Friday, you know." _Shit, I knew she was going to ask me out, and I don't even have an excuse, next match against Gryffindor is going to be Hell._

"Oh. Well, have fun then." _I just got turned down by a mediocre looking guy who isn't even that good at Quidditch. What is wrong with me?_

Flare turned away, upset and annoyed. Now who would go with her to that stupid party, maybe she wouldn't go. After all, she could probably come up with an excuse to Slughorn in two days better than Collin could on the spot.

That night at dinner Lilly walked in with her head held high. She had done it, gotten a date with the hottest guy in school, well according to her. Other girls would say that she has turned down the hottest guy in school every other day for the past two years, either way, she had achieved what every girl wanted.

Flare on the other hand was distraught, she didn't know what to do, and was embarrassed that the, now 'stupid' quidditch player Robbins had turned her down.

"Hey Flare, so guess who has a date Friday? I am so relieved because I was so worried, I mean think about what would happen if he turned me down, then I would end up with Potter or something." She made a face towards the end of the table, not forgiving James for walking in on her patronous the other day. She had basically decided that it was easier to blame her anger on him, be mad at him, then to realize that she was angry that what had happened might mean something, and instead have to figure out her feelings towards him.

Flare on the other hand didn't really want to tell Lilly about not having a date, so she said, "Oh good, I bet you'll have fun with Christopher."

Lilly _was_ Flare's best friend, so she realized what was going on right away. "Hey, you should ask Jordan, he seems really nice. He is just down the table, do it now!"

"I don't feel like being rejected twice in one day." Flare said, but she was thinking about it.

"Come on," Lilly said as she pulled Flare out of her seat, realizing that she did kind of want to go because Lilly could actually make her budge. If Flare didn't want to do it, then Lilly would have gotten nowhere. "You are about to ask Jordan, be calm, act casual, sit down so you don't seem so damn tall." Lilly tried to coax her into going.

"Okay, I can do this." Flare said, heading off down the table. "Hey Jordan. So you know there is this Slughorn party on Friday, and I was wondering if you would go with me?" She spilled out as fast as she could.

Jordan looked up at her. She realized that she was standing and tried to sit down quickly next to him, almost falling on the floor as she did so. She was nervous, and it wasn't necessarily that she liked him a lot, it was that she didn't want to, well, couldn't, be turned down twice in a day.

"I'm sorry Flare; I have some plans with my friend Watson Friday night. I hope you have fun though!" He said, hoping that she didn't notice that Watson had been in the hospital wing for the last couple days for a really bad sickness, and wasn't going to be out for at least a week.

The students around him were trying to look anywhere but at Flare, so she quickly walked back to Lilly. Then she whispered in Lilly's ear and they walked out together, Lilly trying to make sure that Jordan and the kids around him didn't notice Flare leaving.

When they got a couple staircases up Flare broke down. She sat down next to a Knight statue and covered her face. "My life sucks. What is wrong with me? Do I have a sign on me that says 'I am ugly and don't want to go out with you really' on me?"

Lilly tried to calm her down, "No, not that, but maybe a sign that says 'I am tough and tall and if you cross me I will beat you up. Oh, and then Sirius and the Marauders will beat you up to because they care about me."

"You are crazy. Boys don't actually NOT go out with me because they are scared if they mess up that the Marauders will go after them; they don't go out with me because they don't want to." Flare whined.

"I promise you Flare, there is somebody in this school that will go out with you. I bet a lot of boys would. And yes, boys are wimpy enough not to go out with you just because of the Marauders."

"And this is said by a girl with one of the best guys in school as her date." Flare teased.

"So you are feeling better then. Let's go find Gracie and do our Potions homework, it will take a while because you both hate it." Lilly said.


End file.
